This listening process based on the Book of Needs includes an example of how the Deck of Needs can be used to improve "professional" listening.
The detailed description of the listening process will continue to offer insights about empathic listening, when you read and reread the book two, three or more times.
Training material based on the book is available in English, Dutch, German and Polish.
Deck of Needs, the fast way to find the 'right' words available in English, German, Dutch and Polish.
We currently work on a Dutch version of the Book of Needs that will include several new examples and exercises that we already use in our workshops.
In the Book of Needs we state that 'being heard' is one of the most important reasons why people go to others for listening, when they are not satisfied with their present situation. Often the mere (physical) presence of another person is enough to reduce the unpleasant feelings and get more clarity. In other (often more complex) cases however neither speaker nor listener are satisfied with the level of 'being heard' they reach.
We believe that our 6 Step Model for Listening and the guidelines in the Book of Needs can increase the level of 'being heard'. It builds upon the wisdom of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) first created by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s and further developed by him and many other trainers around the world. The Book also integrates our own insights we got from other methods and through our work as teachers, mediators, facilitators and coaches in Africa, Asia, and Europe.
"You've integrated many things I learned about communication into a logical and coherent approach." Participant in one of our workshops.
Our approach focuses on listening to people who face situations with 'intense' emotions and no easy to find solutions. It offers an easy to use framework for anyone, who wants to learn 'professional' listening in conflict resolution, coaching and therapy. At the same time we think it offers new perspectives for experienced 'professional' listeners and trainers. The detailed description of the listening process will continue to offer insights on listening, when you read and reread the book as you learn to handle more and more complex listening situations.
Changing their (unpleasant) situation is another major reason why people go to 'professional listeners'. To reach a high level of 'being heard', we try to locate the core trigger, core feelings and needs connected to someones story. It's been our experience that finding this 'core message' and thereby creating a higher level of being heard will increase the speakers' willingness to accept more and other solutions. An interesting other quality of the 'core message' is that the closer people get to the core, the less likely it is that they will be distracted by less important sidelines and the more likely it is that they will find what they 'really' want.
The book is laid out with ease of learning in mind. As you will read the book the first time the full-colour layout will highlight insights and guidelines and show you the bone structure of our approach. The same highlights also serve to (re)find valuable information as you reread the book or use it as a handy reference guide.
The first (English) edition of the Book of Needs came out in the Summer of 2015. Translations into other languages will follow. Order your own copy of the Book of Needs. Please click the 'like' button on the right if you like (the approach we describe in) this book. When you register now, we will keep you informed about translations, Part Two and other things we do. On this Facebook page we offer a place for questions, feedback, reviews and everything else we and you might like to share.